So, poisoning your mind with your mouth. What do I mean by that?
What we say has a massive impact on our beliefs about ourselves.
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Thoughts enter our heads and then there are a few things we can do with them. We can simply acknowledge we had them with a simple – ‘There is that thought again’, or, we can get into a dialogue, or back and forth conversation, with them.
The other thing we can do is have them come out of our mouths.
Here is an example:
The other day I was watching a webinar and the host was saying that she struggles with using ‘um’ and ‘er’ a lot when she is doing a presentation. Every single time she verbalizes that she sends the message back to her brain and reinforces to herself that she struggles with it. What, of course, is going to happen? She will continue to struggle with it.
What I invite you to do is, next time you have thoughts like; ‘Oh, I'm not very good at that,’ or ‘I shouldn't be doing this,’ or ‘Who do I think I am to think I can achieve that?’ is to just acknowledge the thought is there and leave it at that. When I say ‘acknowledge the thought’ I mean to just notice it, and that’s it. In the dictionary acknowledge means – accept or admit the existence of.
What we don’t want to do is try to fight with it.
Another idea people suggest is to flip it and then say something positive – like an affirmation. You might say, ‘I'm not very good at math’. The idea would be that you would then say something to yourself like – ‘I'm really good at math, so I find it easy, and I love it.’
If this works for you that is great – but for me this strategy is still giving power to the thoughts we are trying to ignore, because we are still spending time interacting with them.
Affirmations are very powerful, but I don’t think this situation is the best place to use them.
It’s all about just noticing it and moving on. I invite you to, next time you have a thought about yourself, just think, ‘Oh, there's that thought again.’ We don't even need to do anything with it, and we definitely don't need to share it with other people.
It's not about keeping it a secret, it's because every single time we say it to somebody else, again, we're reinforcing that belief to ourselves.
Instead you could say something like: I am working on improving the number of um’s and er’s I use when I am speaking.
The other interesting thing is that these thoughts are mostly mean or unhelpful.
We don't find ourselves naturally saying, ‘Oh, you're so wonderful,’ or, ‘That was really amazing what you did,’ or, ‘You're such a great friend.’ They are not the thoughts we have. We have the, ‘You're stupid’ ones instead.
One other thing I want to touch on are the throw away comments that we have. I know I used to say quite a lot, ‘I'm really stressed about that’, or, ‘It’s really stressful, right now.’ When I stopped and asked myself, ‘Are you really stressed about that?’ Well, actually, I wasn’t. I don’t say that anymore.
We have these little default phrases that we say to ourselves about things. They can be recurring ones. And they don’t serve us in any way.
For a lot of years I thought I was the only person that had these crazy thoughts. I thought everyone else was all sorted and it was only me who suffered with such negativity about myself. It's not true! Every single person has them, it's how we're wired as human beings. We all have them – it is just that my version (what I say to myself) might be a different to yours.
Here is the original periscope I filmed on the topic:
I am interested to hear what types of things you say to yourself. Please also share how you get on applying this idea when you have unhelpful thoughts.
I am in a very fortunate position to be part of a 2nd tier leadership coaching program with John C Maxwell. As well as the leadership calls and webinars we have been asked to read some of his books.
I have loved personal growth for many years now and am always fascinated to learn more about myself, how we think and how we can continuously better ourselves. Everyone can have a happier, more fulfilled life by learning more and growing themselves. It is, however, imperative for people in business.
There is a direct correlation between our own personal growth and the growth of our business. It is definitely worth the time to invest in setting goals, visualising what you want to achieve and discovering new ways to be a leader in your life.
In show #11 I share some of the nuggets I have taken from the first chapter of John C Maxwell's book – The 15 Invaluable Laws of Growth. If you want to check it out – US versionUK version. It is about ‘The Law of Intentionality' – Growth Doesn't Just Happen.
Let me leave you with this thought from the book – ‘If you have dreams, goals or aspirations, you need to grow to achieve them'.
What is your favourite personal development book? Leave the name in the comments below.
There are some alarming statistics about the dangers of sitting for extended periods of time.
According to lifehacker if you sit for more than 6 hours a day your risk of heart disease goes up by 64% and you shave 7 years off your life.
The less you move, the less blood sugar your body uses; research shows that for every two hours spent on your backside per day, your chance of contracting diabetes goes up by 7 percent. Your risk for heart disease goes up, too. You're also more prone to depression: With less blood flow, fewer feel-good hormones are circulating to your brain. (Health Magazine)
Not to mention the weight gain and what it does to your circulation, posture and spine.
As an online business owner who sits at my desk for hours on end this is very scary.
When you add to that – not getting any younger and carrying extra weight – the dangers increase even more!
I have been carrying some extra for as long as I can remember but I was always still reasonably fit. It has been since starting my business that I have let that slide as well.
I am sure you can relate to the long hours at the computer. Grabbing a quick snack when possible – not always the healthiest choices. It could be that you have an office job – the effects are still the same!
Slowly getting a bit bigger, a bit more unfit – or both. Starting to develop a blogger's body.
What am I doing about it?
I have taken on a health and weight loss 90 day challenge. My goal is to lose 30lbs and participate in a 5km (3mile) mud race. I am coming up to week 2 now on the challenge and have lost just over 6lbs and can feel the difference in my energy levels already.
I am encouraging as many people as possible to start looking at their health and the dangers of a sedentary lifestyle.
Are you up for the challenge?
I challenge you to get fitter and healthier!! I have started a Facebook group for people that want to challenge themselves for 90 days. Be it weight loss, taking on a 5km, walking around the block or running a marathon – pick something to work towards.
So many amazing things happen in our days that we do not even notice or appreciate. The negative events or events we didn’t want to happen are the ones that seem to naturally take precedence in our minds.
There have been a lot of great things happening in the last couple of weeks and I was telling my friend about them. Part way through the conversation I thought, ‘Wow, there are so many more great things that happened but I can’t remember what they were. What can I do to help remember them?’
So, today I took myself off to buy a gratitude journal.
I am going to make writing in my journal a nightly ritual.
Kesha from Uncommon Chick gives us some reasons to keep a gratitude journal:
1.Better emotional well-being
2.Huge stress reliever
3.Gives you a transformative, positive mindset
4.Offers great social, psychological, and even physical health benefits
5.Satisfies the theory that what you focus on expands
6.Similarly, the more you are grateful for, the more will be given to you
7.Lastly but definitely not least, you’ll benefit from being a new, more conscious, more positive, more abundant person!
She then goes on to say that ‘the greatest testimony I can give is this: the things which I’ve been continuously grateful for have begun manifesting even more in my life. So I don’t question it. It works for me and I highly suggest you take a few minutes out of your day to jot down some items on paper to expand your life positively as well!’
I will leave you with this final thought –
"If you cannot be grateful for what you received, then be thankful for what you have been spared."
I would love to hear if you have a gratitude journal, or something similar. Tell me all about it in the comments below.
Stacey Myers is a business and online marketing trainer, speaker and social media strategist accredited with the Relationship Marketing Institute. She mentors authors and writers in building relationships and community online.
You may not know this, but Support a WAHP (Support a Work at Home Person) has been a bit of a problem child for me. I inherited this business from another entrepreneurial mum, two years ago. At the time I thought it would be a great source of passive income to complement my local startup business, Mumatopia and I loved being in an active support network comprised of home based businesses.
Now, here's where I get brutally honest
Nobody likes to admit it when they've got it wrong, but I had this grand idea of what could be achieved with this little business. The truth of it was, that with all my big ideas I had created a rod for my own back and there came a point earlier in the year where I felt so undervalued and resentful about how much work and effort I had to put into the business, that I nearly shut up shop. Don't get me wrong, I really valued supporting other work at home businesses through Support a WAHP but for the amount of effort I was putting in, I wasn’t getting a return on my investment and was starting to feel a bit trapped. Then one night, after a heavy downpour, a retaining wall in our backyard collapsed, causing thousands of dollars in damage. My first impulse was to say: “Well, how am I going to pay for that?” But what happened after that was what changed everything for me. I had a massive “aha” moment. I realized that I could make a choice to either keep struggling or decide to put my energy into doing what I love in a way that pays me what I’m worth, so that I can be more present for my family, and stop being a slave to my business.
So, you know what I did next?
I took $1000 out of my pocket (despite the fact I had a $24,000 bill looming over my head) and I invested in a 3 month business mentoring programme. By making that choice to honour my worth and my family, my business-life was transformed. Through the mentoring program I realised that what I'm really passionate about is empowering other women entrepreneurs to use their own powerful content to amplify their value and attract raving clients. I had built Mumatopia with no advertising or marketing budget and I knew that other businesses wanted to know how to do that too… thus Content Marketing Cardiology was born. I launched my first ever group training program (my maths-teacher gran would laugh if she saw I was now teaching) and within a month I not only made back what I spent on that program, I doubled it and thoroughly enjoyed working with the four businesses that did my introductory program. And, best of all, I’ve been able to keep this valuable work at home business community going without burning myself out. We now have a new website and simplified blog and membership program and I have wonderful support from some other business mums.
And now for something really big
Not satisfied to just do one challenging thing this year, I decided to go big. Six months ago, I began a journey to organise the biggest event I've ever undertake in my life. I'd seen lots of different telesummits but never one aimed squarely at solo women entrepreneurs, craftisans, home based business mums and dads and micro businesses. So, I decided that it was high time there was a telesummit for people like us. I refuse to believe that businesses choosing to stay small, don't want to learn how to grow and be profitable. Otherwise, why would we choose this work at home life? It's been an amazing ride. I've learned more than I could ever have imagined and at the end of this month, I'm running a three day telesummit called Startup Small — Dream Big — Grow Fast in conjunction with my accountability buddy Stacey Myers! You really don’t have to “just get by.” You can do what you love, live the lifestyle you promised yourself (and your family) and not only turn your business into a thriving enterprise, but make a significant profit, so that you have more to give and can make a bigger impact on the world. It is possible to start a business at the kitchen table and grow it into something amazing, while being present for the people who matter most to you. The idea for this telesummit was sparked by my desire to inspire other women solopreneurs to expand their ideas on what is possible for their businesses and earn what they are worth, without becoming corporate carbon copies. I hope you will join me for this ground breaking celebration of solo enterprise. To register for “Startup Small — Dream Big — Grow Fast.” click here!
I would love to hear about your experiences of being a 'Work at Home Person'. Please leave your comments below.
Cas McCullough is an author, blogger and entrepreneur and the ultimate shoestring marketer. Cas blogs for www.startupsmart.com.au and her two small businesses mumatopia.com and www.supportawahp.com. Cas is passionate about empowering women entrepreneurs to drop the sales pitch and start marketing with ease using powerful content and social media. Content-ment is her vision!