Are You Poisoning Your Mind with Your Mouth?
So, poisoning your mind with your mouth. What do I mean by that?
What we say has a massive impact on our beliefs about ourselves.
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Thoughts enter our heads and then there are a few things we can do with them. We can simply acknowledge we had them with a simple – ‘There is that thought again’, or, we can get into a dialogue, or back and forth conversation, with them.
The other thing we can do is have them come out of our mouths.
Here is an example:
The other day I was watching a webinar and the host was saying that she struggles with using ‘um’ and ‘er’ a lot when she is doing a presentation. Every single time she verbalizes that she sends the message back to her brain and reinforces to herself that she struggles with it. What, of course, is going to happen? She will continue to struggle with it.
What I invite you to do is, next time you have thoughts like; ‘Oh, I'm not very good at that,’ or ‘I shouldn't be doing this,’ or ‘Who do I think I am to think I can achieve that?’ is to just acknowledge the thought is there and leave it at that. When I say ‘acknowledge the thought’ I mean to just notice it, and that’s it. In the dictionary acknowledge means – accept or admit the existence of.
What we don’t want to do is try to fight with it.
Another idea people suggest is to flip it and then say something positive – like an affirmation. You might say, ‘I'm not very good at math’. The idea would be that you would then say something to yourself like – ‘I'm really good at math, so I find it easy, and I love it.’
If this works for you that is great – but for me this strategy is still giving power to the thoughts we are trying to ignore, because we are still spending time interacting with them.
Affirmations are very powerful, but I don’t think this situation is the best place to use them.
It’s all about just noticing it and moving on. I invite you to, next time you have a thought about yourself, just think, ‘Oh, there's that thought again.’ We don't even need to do anything with it, and we definitely don't need to share it with other people.
It's not about keeping it a secret, it's because every single time we say it to somebody else, again, we're reinforcing that belief to ourselves.
Instead you could say something like: I am working on improving the number of um’s and er’s I use when I am speaking.
The other interesting thing is that these thoughts are mostly mean or unhelpful.
We don't find ourselves naturally saying, ‘Oh, you're so wonderful,’ or, ‘That was really amazing what you did,’ or, ‘You're such a great friend.’ They are not the thoughts we have. We have the, ‘You're stupid’ ones instead.
One other thing I want to touch on are the throw away comments that we have. I know I used to say quite a lot, ‘I'm really stressed about that’, or, ‘It’s really stressful, right now.’ When I stopped and asked myself, ‘Are you really stressed about that?’ Well, actually, I wasn’t. I don’t say that anymore.
We have these little default phrases that we say to ourselves about things. They can be recurring ones. And they don’t serve us in any way.
For a lot of years I thought I was the only person that had these crazy thoughts. I thought everyone else was all sorted and it was only me who suffered with such negativity about myself. It's not true! Every single person has them, it's how we're wired as human beings. We all have them – it is just that my version (what I say to myself) might be a different to yours.
Here is the original periscope I filmed on the topic:
Great information. Are you familiar with the book, The Untethered Soul? It talks about our negative self-conscious.
I am not familiar with that book – I will definitely check it out. Thanks for letting me know.
Thanks for the reminder that saying the limiting thought out loud, only reinforces the thought. I tend to acknowledge myself for most things. My challenge is around technology so I have to be mindful & say, 'look how much I've learned. I should be able to get that, it will just take time."
It is easy to get caught in the trap of sharing the thoughts we have. I’m pleased to hear that you acknowledge yourself for what you have achieved. Well done!
I love your suggestion about noticing negative thoughts and them letting them wander out of your head. Great way to help lessen their power of you. Thanks for that!
It is my absolute pleasure, Jackie. We can definitely spend too long interacting with them!
Oh no girl, you are NOT the only one who has these thoughts… and I have gotten better about saying it, now I just need to work on my mind thinking it and my fingers typing it! Thanks for the affirmations! 😉
Thanks for stopping by Kristen. Yes, our mind does have a mind of its own – that is for sure!
This is great, Stacey. It's so important to realize that we are not obligated to continue thinking any ole thought that falls into our minds. Take charge!
Affirmations seemed like such a lie to me so I didn't do them. Thus I was stuck with the negative thoughts. What got me out was the honesty of saying "I am working on …becoming better where I can speak…do…have….etc". This I could BELIEVE from me. Now I am am getting to the point of saying the positive! yea!!!
YAY!! Cheryl! I am so pleased to hear that!
Interesting post. I need to pay more attention to negative thoughts. Thanks for sharing.
My pleasure, Vicky. I don’t think we realise sometimes the power that they have.
Always good to have a positive attitude and not get caught up by bad word erc.
Yes, a positive attitude does make a difference.
Stacey, Great post. What we tell ourselves makes a huge difference in our attitudes about ourselves and others. Thanks for the reminder.
It is my pleasure! Thank you for stopping by.
Great post! I believe that words are powerful and that what comes out of our mouths can make a difference. Keep up the good work and I wish you all the best.-Chris Thompson
Thanks Chris. Yes, words are very powerful!